Are You Truly Curious, or Just Going Through the Motions in Coaching?

Deep curiosity, as described in Shigeo Oishi's Seek, is profoundly relevant to coaching because it aligns with the core principles and skills that create transformative coaching relationships.

Bringing Deep Curiosity into Credential-Level Coaching

Mastering deep curiosity is not just a coaching best practice—it’s essential for coaches working toward anICF credential. The ability to at a mastery level directly aligns with ICF Core Competencies and assessment markers. But embodying deep curiosity in real-time coaching requires deliberate practice, feedback, and skill refinement—which is exactly what our Coach Credential Prep Course is designed to provide.

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Here are some coaching habits that might seem like curiosity but are actually driven by the coach's perspective, assumptions, or experience, rather than genuine client-centered exploration:

1. Leading or Guiding the Client to a Preconceived Outcome

• The coach asks questions that subtly direct the client toward what the coach believes is the "right" solution.
• Coach's Habit: "Have you thought about delegating this task to your team?"
• Why It's Not Curiosity: This assumes delegation is the answer, rather than exploring the client's unique thoughts, feelings, or context.

2. Asking Questions to Confirm the Coach’s Assumptions 

• Example: The coach asks questions aimed at validating their interpretation of the client's situation.
• Coach's Habit: "Is it because you’re afraid of failure?"
• Why It's Not Curiosity: This imposes the coach's assumptions about the client's motivations rather than exploring the client's actual perspective.

3. Offering Advice Disguised as a Question

• Example: The coach presents advice in the form of a question, which can come across as directive rather than explorative.
• Coach's Habit: "What if you just tried setting boundaries with your boss?"
• Why It's Not Curiosity: This subtly shifts the focus to the coach’s perspective rather than empowering the client to uncover their own solutions.

4. Seeking to Solve Instead of Understand

• Example: The coach jumps to "fix" the problem rather than sitting with the client’s experience.
• Coach's Habit: "What steps can you take to fix this?"
• Why It's Not Curiosity:This prematurely focuses on action without fully exploring the client’s emotions, beliefs, or underlying challenges.

5. Sharing Stories or Experiences to Relate

• Example: The coach shares personal anecdotes with the intention of helping but unintentionally centers the conversation on themselves.
• Coach's Habit: "When I was in a similar situation, I found that taking a break really helped."
• Why It's Not Curiosity: The coach’s experience becomes the focal point, which can diminish the space for the client’s unique journey.

6. Interrupting or Rushing to Fill Silence

• Example: The coach interrupts reflective pauses with additional questions or statements to maintain momentum.
• Coach's Habit: "Let me clarify what I think you’re saying here."
• Why It's Not Curiosity: Silence is often where deep insights emerge. Interrupting this space reflects the coach’s discomfort, not a curiosity to explore the client’s unfolding thoughts.

7. Focusing on Fixation Instead of Exploration

• Example: The coach focuses on a single detail or issue that aligns with their interest or expertise rather than exploring the client’s full narrative.
• Coach's Habit: "Let’s dive deeper into your time management challenges."
• Why It's Not Curiosity: The coach assumes time management is the key issue, potentially ignoring broader or deeper factors that the client might want to address.

8. Overuse of “Why” Questions

• Example: The coach uses “why” questions excessively, which can feel probing or judgmental.
• Coach's Habit: "Why didn’t you speak up in that meeting?"
• Why It's Not Curiosity: This can put the client on the defensive, focusing on justification rather than exploration.

9. Jumping to Problem-Solving Mode

• Example: The coach prioritizes solutions without exploring the client’s mindset, emotions, or values.
• Coach's Habit: "What’s the fastest way you can get this done?"
• Why It's Not Curiosity: This bypasses the client’s deeper reflections and focuses on efficiency over understanding.

10. Assuming the Coach Knows What the Client Needs

• Example: The coach projects their own priorities or experiences onto the client’s goals.
• Coach's Habit: "Wouldn’t it feel great to achieve more work-life balance?"
• Why It's Not Curiosity: This assumption frames the conversation around the coach’s perspective, potentially missing the client’s true desires.

How These Habits Differ from True Curiosity

• Coach-Centered: These habits stem from the coach’s own mindset, experiences, or discomfort.
• Directive: They guide the client toward predetermined answers rather than empowering them to explore their own insights.
• Outcome-Focused: They prioritize results over the client’s self-discovery and growth.

True curiosity is client-centered, open-ended, and focused on exploration over outcomes. It invites the client to take ownership of their process without the coach imposing their perspective.